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The 2014 Boney Awards:boney

David Brigham: The Marty Feldman “what hump?” Award For switching his eyepatch to suit his mood. Apparently.

Scott Carrico:The PETA Award for proudly announcing: “There’s nothin’ I like to eat more, than fresh cougar,” while playing Dusty Britches in Murder 1937: Murder for Dummies. (PETA of course stands for People Eating Tasty Animals.)

Michael Vasicek:The American Ophthalmologists Association's Colorblindness Award for declaring “The best things in life are pink, “ as he handed out samples of brown,Teriyaki-style Spam while playing Doc. U. Mentor in Murder 1937: Murder for Dummies.

Glenn Locke: The Apple I-Corpse Award when Glenn lay dead as Harold Lipman, with a harmonica shoved down his throat, a guest mistook it for a thumb drive in Murder 1937:  Murder for Dummies.

Ariel Haan:The Polly-Anna Polygraph Awardfor consistently being mistaken as the murderer while playing Bubbles Lipman in Murder 1937: Murder for Dummies.

Sammi Gagnon:Margaret Thatcher Iron Lady Award for her opening night performance as Jade Sterling despite her vertigo - a symptom of what turned out to be a life-threatening condition.

Jason Baughn:Elwood P. Dowd Award for forgetting his shoes, pants, jeans, keys, his money, his phone in no particular order and then leaving the bloody stuffed poodle in the bag on the front porch of the Gold Hill Inn while playing Dusty Britches in Murder 1937: Murder for Dummies

Carol Lopez:The Purell Instant Hand Sanitizer Award   Who can forget her brilliant adlib after being asked to pass out appetizers; she announced she’d just finished cleaning the toilets… “Canopy?” while playing Bessy Porterhouse in Murder 1973:Vengeance is Mayan.

Jojo Morrison:The Betty Davis Award  goes to Jojo Morrison who so completely immersed herself in her role as Jade Sterling, that when a guest asked her to pass the bread (which was sitting right in front of her) she made Bessy come from the other end of the table to pass the bread for her. As a matter of fact, when asked if she would work for us next season she said “As long as I get to play a bitch.”

Bobby Kay Kupffner: The Audubon Society Award goes to Bobby Kay Kupffner for taking to our mysteries like a duck to water while portraying Jade Sterling in Murder 1973: Vengeance is Mayan.

Miles Wilder AKA: Andrew Horn: The Wisconsin Dairyman’s Association Award for promoting the use of butter in coffee to prolong and moderate the effects of caffeine.

Maggie Simms: The Hobby Lobby Paint By Numbers Award  goes to Maggie Simms who, while playing the hostess: Samantha White, called out for Team Number One when in fact she should have called for Team Blue - a definite case of Number Blindness.

David Blumenstock:The Methusela Award for forgetting to die as Doc S. Hund in Murder 1958: Life’s a Bitch and then You Die.

Julie Excell: The May West Naughty Come-back Award for her saucy portrayal of Alabama Brown in Murder 1973:  Vengeance is Mayan. When Dr. Marmot questioned her about her frog pendant... she replied she won it in a poker-game - “Strip.”

Robin Abb>: The Carol Burnette Aside Award  for turning to an audience member who had just interrupted the “that’s A Moray joke”and saying:  “Hey, we’re doing a bit here...” while playing the role of Corgi Russell in Murder 1958:Life’s a Bitch and then You Die


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